I just oppened up my book, and took a look at this one page At a young age, I was shining brighter than the sun’s rays I’d study through the weekend to win that spelling bee on Monday Hoppind I’d grow up to be somebody one day But damn things change, seventh grade was all about gunplay Too young to buy one so it was B & E for your gun safe Broken promises like mom don’t worry I’ma stop someday Find some way to get up out this usafe hood that none say good things about And I think about a lot of stuff during times like this I was acting blind with my mind And committing crimes on drugs is a bad mixture I lost sight of my dreams and lost sight of my bigger picture Now I’m in a cell with a Bible the Holy scripture Trying to change my life so I don’t go back to the trigger Cause one squeeze has momma on her knees, begging the Lord please Please bring my son back I’ll clean up his closet of all the drugs and the gun rack I can’t lose him yet Lord he just got out of prison But regardless, God’s got a plan full of force on a mission So momma can beg and cry but still this prayer remains distant And He ain’t going to listen Don’t get me wrong, I pray to God and am a solid christian But I’m still washing clothes in the same pot that I piss in Wishing I could eat, but got to wait for police To come get us, so to pass the time I sleep Trying to escape in a dream but it seems all I’m catching is nightmares And the night air is no joke It’s so cold, you fight for warmth but mother nature don’t fight fair Old homies don’t give a damn, well some of them might care But that’s rare I learnt that God and family’s the only ones that are right there... Writer profile in here Note: We are not a penpal website, to contact the listed individuals you must be 18 years or older and do you own research.

My addiction is contradicting with my way of life I’m trying to remember my prayers but can’t say them right The holds too tight and the grip is savage I say I don’t want it no more and that you can have it But everytime I drop a habit I wait till no one’s looking, then circle back and grab it What’s wrong with me? What’s going on with me? I long for peace so bad it’s got me on my knees Everytime I sing the same song its please The same movie comes on the scene is me I beg for mercy every time it comes on repeats The ending is a needle in my arm deceased Please Lord… I really escape from this demon It is hard with all the stress from this place that we in I fight with myself, I don’t want it I mean it The devil’s speakin His voice in my head “Yes you do it you’re fiending” I try to resist But I need some assistance I can’t do it on my own, that’s a failed mission Some try to preach to me, they speak game and wisdom But I go by what I see there’s no practice with them So I tilt black in caps stuck in the system I don’t know what you want me to say my friend Get on my knees dear Lord it’s time to pray again... Writer profile in here Note: We are not a penpal website, to contact the listed individuals you must be 18 years or older and do you own research.

Yesterday I was going backward and forth with a dude, a fully fledged verbal alteration. Before I knew it, or even realize it, I was in a physical alteration. The same day I woke up early like I usually do, saying my prayers and doing some scripture reading. One of my everyday prayers is “God protect me from me”, aking for the grace and strength to not only act like a christian but to react like one. See, that’s where I normally fail. I have no problem with going to church and even discussing biblical topics, praying for family and freedom but when confronted with an opportunity to show my love and loyalty to Christ by obedience, the old me, that canal me, shoves Jesus out of the driver’s seat. Then i go ahead to handle every situation in how I have done these 15 years. By getting violent and self destructive. I do not want to be violent, nor do I enjoy violence but the path of being here, stress, anger, anxiety and not being focused usually have me behave like a child and not a man of God. I am learning that being a christian is more of laying your life down, giving it up in order to really ‘live’. Denying yourself the right to be treated with respect, the right to demand retribution. Now, don’t get me wrong, I want to change and God is my witness. I hate myself at times, how can an individual continue to go in circles? What’s more is that we, I have a power inside that is able to raise a person from the dead that is waiting to take over if I only allow Him to but I just have to take this stage. The Bible says God will complete the work that he started. So I believe, I know it is only a matter of time before I become that man that I desire to be. The one I was destined to be before the foundations of the world. Until then, prayer, prayer, prayer is a must. Feeding on God’s word is a mandatory submission on my part, it is not optional. What is hard for me is easy for God. All I need to do is walk in the spirit. Keep my mind on Jesus. To be continued. Writer profile in here Note: We are not a penpal website, to contact the listed individuals you must be 18 years or older and do you own research.